ManoptiCon 2 (Originally published in Top 1993)
It was the lifts that did it. Normally it’s the alcohol. This time it was the lifts. O to 60 in about 2 seconds or something equally as bone crunching and the problem was you had to use them to get above the ground floor. Thing was they went so fast it took until about the seventh floor to recover your senses. Manchester has to be different like that. You arrive to find a city centre full of trams. Not those clunky old ones but streamlined modern versions gliding about majestically as you try to work out what direction all the different types of traffic are coming at you from. Then there’s the Piccadilly Hotel itself. 47 quid a night! Are they kidding? Besides the rooms across the road in the Britannia are a mere £30, they’re bigger and it’s got fabulous chandeliers and deep blue stair carpets enigmatically illuminated like some grand club. By comparison the Piccadilly is tacky light browns and greens- faceless and for the price decidedly un- accommodating.